Word on the tabloids is that Katie Holmes signed a contract for $5mil for 5 years to be his ladyfriend, and that it may or may not include babies. Also, that she was apparently 5th choice, after Kate Bosworth, Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Alba. That is such a crazy story that it could even be true. If it is, I feel sorry for Ms. Holmes, seeing how she’s a virgin and all.

P.S. I reckon Tom Cruise really is gay.

And today, the “big communicator” suffered yet another bloody outage that returned me back yet again to stone age. Even the bloody Stock exchange has been shut down 6 times in 9 months because of these incompetent money grubbing fuckwits. You ring and complain…don’t even bother…tell someone who cares. They might think dial up is OK, but I fucken don’t! I loathe them. Wish them unfortunate and painful death. All of them! Aggghhhh!! DONOT COME BACK TO NZ – SAVE YOURSELF WHILE YOU STILL CAN. YOUR FOOT WONT HEAL IF IT KNOWS ITS COMING BACK HERE.

http://www.transit.govt.nz/innercitybypass/

has a good before and after map.

I was an actor in some theatre group, and Tom Cruise was in it. I wish I could remember the name of the play. Anyway, some dude comes and is after me and Tom Cruise. He, being ninja-like and all, tells me to follow him and we try to catch this dude. The dude, by the way, was the scary escaped prisoner guy from Carnivale, except his name was something weird like Bullybo Beans. Tom was crouched on a ledge and I saw Bullybo Beans coming around the corner with a rifle, so I took off and ran back to the theatre.

I remember looking around for something at the theatre, but I can’t remember what it was. Then randomly, I went outside and met “Hunter S. Thompson”, who was actually young, hispanic, and had a really thick black moustache. I told him that Fear & Loathing was my favourite book and that I thought he was a great writer. He laughed and smiled at me.

Then I woke up.