They’re all dirty hippies
People in central Europe are just different. They’re different to the British, and different to Western countries outside of Europe. After doing a lot of travelling over the past few years, I’ve grown to see what things seem to generalise that particular country. For example, the Spanish love mullets – but not redneck mullets, rather some sort of mullet that they make beautiful and fashionable. The French are surprisingly more friendly and eager to speak English than I’d been told. The majority of England is full of scallies. The Dutch are very happy and have funny accents. People from Monaco and rich and snooty. I bet you didn’t see that one coming. People in Belgium, however, are all dirty hippies.
It’s no secret that central Europeans love the hair. Be it on your leg, your armpit, or even your surprisingly bushy pubic area. But when I was travelling these countries, it really wasn’t as obvious as it is in Antwerp. In statistics I’m making up on the spot, only 10% of Antwerpians shave. And only 10% wash their hair regularly (with regularly being at least once a week), with another 20% being unknown due to the amazing amount of hijabs on show. People in Antwerp also prefer clothes in shades of brown and olive, and smoke pot a lot on the street. In New Zealand, they (the hippies) would make up only 6% of the population, but in Antwerp it is at least 98%. These statistics are all true.
They don’t drink fresh milk
That’s right, they don’t drink the goodness that is fresh lactating cow udder juice. Everyone seems to drink UHT milk – Ultra High Temperature, otherwise know as Utterly Horribly Tasting milk. Every house I have been to has UHT milk. They don’t even have a diary section in the fridges at corner stores. Apparently you can only buy fresh milk at the supermarkets and there is only one brand you can buy if they stock it.
The thing about UHT is that is tastes like shit. It leaves a weird fake-milk tasting film in your mouth, and makes tea and coffee taste nasty. The only way I can characterise Belgian coffee is by the flavour of UHT milk – i.e., really bad.
There is a lack of manners
One of the main things I’ve noticed about people in Belgium, specifically Antwerp, is that people do not say “excuse me”. Going shopping is a nightmare, because people will just push past you and not say a word. People also do not respect the personal boundries that I’ve grown accustomed to expect – like my 2-foot personal bubble radius. Sadly, not here.
I was shopping for a book for my neice at a nice store last week, standing right up against the bookshelf with a book in front of my face, and some lady stuck her hand in front of my face to grab at some books without saying excuse me. I turned to her to give her the “omfg get out of my bubble” look and she smiled at me. Wipe that smile of your dial, lady! You’re in my bubble!
The funny thing is that my boyfriend and I were always having big arguments about how he doesn’t say excuse me when he needs me to move, or say sorry if he accidentally hurts me. I’m talking big fights. He would tell me it must be a cultural difference and I used to accuse him of lying “because there is no way not saying excuse me is a cultural difference”. I now see I was very wrong. I’m sorry, Peter!
Old people smoke a lot and drink a lot of coffee
There are cafes everywhere in Antwerp. They aren’t the sort of cafes that serve espresso though – they serve “Belgian coffee” which is the same as using a Senseo machine with Douwe Egberts coffee bags. Err, yum? Anyway, they are usually extremely smokey, kind of gloomy, with lots of wood and things hanging on the wall. I probably need a photo for reference, but that will have to wait until I crack out my camera for the first time since I’ve been here. Anyway, these places are almost completely full of old people and middle-aged men with moustaches. Most of them look like Burt Reynolds, if he were Belgian. I can’t really describe exactly what that looks like. Just guess.
You can get apple pie almost anywhere
IK HOUD AAPELTART MET SLAGROOM. I am going to be reeeeeally fat soon.
awe, i just want to give ya a hug, all the way from dallas, tx! hell, here just going across town to the east side is an adventure in culture shock. i can’t imaging REALLY going to the east side…knowing my short temper and acquired taste for cleanliness, id likely end up in the bastille for going off on someone.
Haha, that made me laugh.
I’m pretty sure if I lived in Argentina for 3 months I’d find out that M’s compulsive lateness is cultural too.
It’s funny how strong these things can be… We’ve had some pretty big things where we just absolutely cannot understand why the other person thinks or does a certain thing and they always turn out to be wild cultural differences.
Hi Ani – I just came accross your website – I’m American and living upstairs from Bluu in the Northern Quarter Manchester. I moved here just about the same time you wrote you did. Your observations about Manchester are great to read! I thought I was the only one who could see how miserable and unhealthy Manchester is – I just want to escape!
What the hell is UHT milk?
*checks fridge
Hi Ani
Found my way onto your site somehow. Lived in Antwerp for a long time and grew up on UHT. Never knew the difference until I moved to London…I feel your pain!
Cool stuff. But since when Belgium is in Central Europe?
This is true. I think what I was trying to say is “mainland” Europe. I was trying to not exclude the UK and Ireland. Except it didn’t really work.