April, 2009


28
Apr 09

Things about my parents’ house

  • lace doilies
  • china cabinets and tea sets
  • LivingTV
  • Antiques Roadshow
  • knick-knacks
  • plastic tablecloths
  • malt biscuits
  • home-made soup and scones
  • cups of tea in bed (single)
  • teddy bears on spare beds
  • mirrors that require ducking down
  • the biggest washing machine in the world
  • random hearing aids
  • organised pill collections
  • brown velvet sofas
  • multiple foot stools
  • cats with human names

26
Apr 09

Things you can’t do on dial-up

  • View any page mere seconds after clicking a link
  • Look at friends’ drunken antics via Facebook photo
  • Watch YouTube videos
  • Load email using GMail’s standard view
  • Download an illegal movie
  • Masturbate and download porn at the same time
  • Not get frustrated (see above)
  • Not throw the computer out the window
  • Whoops, sorry Mum – GET BROADBAND

How is it that anyone is still on dial-up?  What is the point of the internet without broadband?  Why even own a computer?

So many questions…