- I don’t like
- filler words
- I still really like lists
- Even if I have nothing to say
Lists
8
Nov 06
I Really Like Lists
8
Nov 06
Smells I Like
- Fresh coffee
- The climbing flowers in the alleyway
- Septum piercing nose cheese
- My pillow
- Wet grass
- My niece’s hair
- My cat’s forehead
7
Nov 06
Food List
- Rubbish bags
- Fruit and veges
- Meat
- Milk
- Butter
- Cereal
- Toilet paper
- Paper toll
- Washing powder and softener
- Dish soap
- Handsoap x 2
- 20W light bulbs
7
Nov 06
Untitled
| 09:30 | Buy Red Bull and water. Play The Roots. |
| 10:30 | Stop just before P’ram, take photos, roll smokes, smoke smokes. |
| 11:15 | Pee in Otaki. |
| 12:15 | See burning mound/hill. Call 911, then 111. Give orienteering details to friendly moustached(?) fire dispatcher. |
| 13:45 | Eat coconut curry and kumera fritter and latte at cafe. Have to ask what town I’m in. Taihape. |
30
Oct 06
Scenes From Cuba Street
* A beautiful pregnant girl smoking
* A guy stumbling fucked up from sniffing glue
* Three punks, one with bright green dreads and a sideways mohawk; at the same time
* The two cutest emo-goth chicks I’ve ever seen
* My favourite barman walking into my favourite bar
* An amazing looking old Chinese woman, no taller than my armpits
* A Bhuddist monk in robes
* A stunning 5’10″ half-Malaysian model
* An elderly woman wearing a Fly My Pretties badge
* A teenage girl wearing a walkman and ’80s headphones
* A kid with a giant plastic scythe
* A greasy Brandon Davis look-alike
* Elvis The Hairdresser, who I see everywhere
* An old guy chugging a beer and chasing pigeons
5
Oct 06
Dearest Pippy
You have been my best friend for fifteen years. I have always known you would be my best friend forever (BFF!!!) and unsurprisingly you still are. How we have managed to stay best friends is beyond me, considering:
- We were only in the same class for one year in intermediate.
- We went to different high schools.
- We had different circles of friends.
- That stupid evil bint Donna Groves tried to play us off each other for many years and make me believe you hated me and vice versa, including the-telling-you-I-hated-you-and-making-you-burn-all-the-letters-I’d-ever-sent-you incident, the incident you were so upset about you didn’t tell me for many, many years afterwards.
- When I moved into Wellington you moved to Christchurch.
- When I moved to the States, you moved back to Wellington.
- When I moved to the United Kingdom, you moved to Palmerston North.
- When I moved back to Wellington, you were still in stinky Palmerston North.
- Now you are moving to the United Kingdom and I’m still in Wellington.
The above reasons have led us to conduct our entire BFF relationship via letters, postcards, emails, and the occasional phone call.
I have a box full of letters from you (I didn’t burn mine) that I go through and read at least once a year. Because we are also BFF to the max, we have almost the exact same handwriting and sometimes I get confused if the letters I’m reading are from you or ones I’ve written to you and haven’t sent. This was plainly obvious last night when you were at my house for the second time ever since I’ve been back in New Zealand and you added a bunch of things to my shopping list, with me adding actual items underneath your fake ones and not even noticing they were fake ones because I thought I’d written them. Sometimes I wonder if you are actually real. Actually, I don’t, but my other friends joke that you don’t exist because no one has ever met you. I’m pretty sure you are real, mostly because I would never have done a dance to NKOTB without being forced by a crazed 11-year-old Jazzerciser.
So you leave for London in just over two months. I can’t begin to tell you how sad I am. I would say I would miss you, but I’ve been missing you for the past fourteen years.
Love you forever and ever,
Arnie-Bop Mopper
30
Sep 06
Motherfucker: A Rant In The Usual List Format
- Earlier this morning while riding my scooter, I almost got hit by a car attempting to run a red light. I also got cut off last weekend. I don’t want to die while riding my Vespa, but I guess, seeing how I now have my new Momo helmet at least I’ll look fucking good when I splat on the road.
- The tailor I was recommended managed to hem my $600 jeans to the wrong length. Thankfully it was too long but when you’re reattaching hems; i.e., cutting off the leg and reattaching the hem rather than hemming from the bottom, you don’t have much room for error.
- I saw Coldcut last night with P. It was at the State Opera House and I was expecting it to be awesome like Shapeshifter last week. Sadly, it wasn’t. Pitch Black were pretty damn good, but the entire thing was so unbelieveably loud my ears weren’t ringing – they were just aching. I had to beg a stewardess for ear plugs (like they sell them at the Opera House!) and my ears were still hurting through them. Coldcut have now surpassed Soundgarden in 1996 as the loudest concert I’ve ever been to.
- This list is in order of annoyance.
26
Sep 06
A Super Quick Update In List Format
- I bought a Vespa
- I am cooking lots of Thai
- I am sick again
- I went to Shapesifter on Friday and it was fucking amazing
- I’m learning Handel’s Largo in G
- My cactus has three pink flowers
- Goblin is losing weight
- Wellington is great right now
- I think you are amazing and funny and beautiful and talented
11
Sep 06
I Don’t Have Time For The Internet
I haven’t even had time to check my emails lately. This is something quite new and exciting and unknown and I’m rather enjoying avoiding my computer as much as possible.
A brief summary of nerd avoidance reasons:
- I have two new flatmates
- I’m obsessed with playing classical piano
- I’ve made a routine of seeing my family every weekend
- I’ve been entertaining friends at home during the week
These things seem to leave not a whole lot of time left for doing things such as using my computer, writing, and photography. I’m sure it’s a phase.
The lease on the house I am living in came up to expire and both of my flatmates moved out. I toyed with moving in by myself or moving again, but when I woke up to the sounds of tuis singing and heard a morepork moreporking one night when I was sitting in my room with the windows open I decided that I simply couldn’t leave this house. I love it. I love that I am only a ten-minute walk to the ass-end of the city (aiie, The Terrace) yet I don’t hear any urban noise pollution and just get to hear lovely things like birds singing and dogs barking. This is something quite special, seeing how I have been living in cities for the past few years.
So, I took over the lease and found two new flatmates. I now live with Cat, a young Scottish girl, and John, the English fellow who recognised me from my website at Matterhorn a few weeks ago. I love living with them so far, and they have made this house feel homely and welcoming to come home to. I am really liking living with a girl again, especially one who reminds me a bit of the last female flatmate I met from a flatmates wanted ad, Natalie, who became one of my best friends. It’s strange to be able to meet strangers whom you instantly get along with to the point of being able to live with them.
John brought a digital piano with him when he moved in, which now sits prominently in the living room. We don’t really have a TV so we sit around the fire, play piano, play board games, and eat dinner together. It’s all very civilised. The piano is a full-size piano with properly weighted keys (i.e., not a shitty keyboard) and I decided I am going to CLR my piano fingers. I have been going on second-hand sheet music missions and have been playing for at least an hour a day. It’s been years since I’ve played like this but I’m slowly getting better. I’m determined to grow my long-forgot skills.
Along with being rather civilised, I’ve also been cooking. This is also unlike me because I detest cooking usually and won’t if it’s just for me. Having flatmates who are home after work and eat at the same time as me is wonderful, as is having friends who come over to taste-test my burgeoning skills as a Thai chef. My parents and my nana came over for Fathers Day and I baked scones, made tea, and played piano for them.
I’ve also been perusing the cocktail making skills of various bartenders around town. This has somehow led to me getting bar tabs without asking and without giving my credit card, and having drinks placed in front of me without even ordering them. This influx of delicious alcoholic beverages has led to the weekly writing of “N” on my left thumb and “O” on my right to remind me to not do things in excess when I’m drunk and rolling cigarettes. It is surprisingly useful, although I have discovered it doesn’t really work if you are already drunk by the time you pull out the pen.
My agenda for the next few weeks:
- Play more piano
- Reply to emails
- Get my camera out
- Work on my attempt of a novel again
- Get some fucking sleep
9
May 06
I Want To Sex Me Up

This is me at 14. Check out:
- The early-90s fringe
- The boofy poodle bob, yes, I was growing out a perm
- The glasses
- The mouth full of metal that I am desperately trying to hide
- The adam’s apple