“For what it’s worth, it’s never to late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, start whenever you want. You can change, or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you, and I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” –Benjamin Button
Movies
8
Jan 07
2006: The Movies
On October 4, 2005, for some unknown reason, I started noting down every movie I watched with the date and a rating from 1 to 10 in my Moleskine. I’ve become rather obsessive about it, but I have noticed that either I only watch good to excellent movies, or my rating scale has a very fucked up bell curve. I am very keen to give 8s and 9s, but hesitant to give anything less than a 6. I’m far too generous, perhaps. Anyway, these are my movies of 2006.
10 – My Favourites
Crash
Mon Oncle
Bad Santa
The Weatherman
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid
Clerks II
Nacho Libre
Roger & Me
9 – Movies I Liked A Fuck Of A Lot
Garden State
Shaolin Soccer
Howl’s Moving Castle
Freaks
House of Flying Daggers
Office Space
The Hebrew Hammer
Waking Ned Devine
Click
12 Monkeys
The Brown Bunny
Fast Food Nation
Ed Wood
Night on Earth
Casino Royale
8 – Movies I Liked Enough To Probably Watch Again
In Her Shoes
Eddie Izzard: Circle
Love Actually
Lost In La Mancha
Ellie Parker
Sky High
The Pink Panther
Microcosmos
American Pyscho
Mysterious Skin
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
7 – Movies That Were Still Worthy Of My Time
Rumble Fish
Shopgirl
Just Like Heaven
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose
The Legend of Zorro
V For Vendetta
Silent Hill
The Departed
6 – Movies To Watch When There’s Nothing Better To Do
The Fog
The Wedding Crashers
The 40-Year-Old-Virgin
Dear Wendy
Final Destination 3
Miami Vice
Saboteur
5 – Movies I Wish I Could Have Decided Not To Watch
King Kong
X-Men 3
4 – Movies I Should Have Turned Off
Melinda & Melinda
3 – Movies That Never Should Have Been Made
Elizabethtown
Conclusions I Can Draw From This Data
- I am really far too generous with my ratings.
- Some of those top 10- and 9-rated movies would switch around, for example, Shaolin Soccer kicks the arse off (no pun intended, really) Clerks II, but obviously at the time of watching Clerks II I really liked that movie, more than the brilliant Shaolin Soccer.
- I am a sucker for romantic comedies, and really any movie that makes me cry.
- I obviously don’t like Alfred Hitchcock as my previously second-lowest rated movie was The Birds.
- I really like Johnny Depp and Steve Martin.
- Daniel Craig is the best Bond ever.
- Adam Goldberg in shiny blue Speedo underpants with visible cock outline is so hot.
- Adrian, I’m really sorry I didn’t like your movies. You should tell the directors to have better scripts next time.
- I have questionable taste.
17
Nov 01
Every Movie I’ve Ever Watched
The following list contains almost every movie I’ve ever watched as of December 12th, 2001. This list contains 619 titles. There are many movies that I know I have watched but can not remember doing so, and these I left off. The numbers after the movie title and year of release is my rating out of 10.
American Beauty (1999) 10
Edward Scissorhands (1990) 10
Fight Club (1999) 10
High Fidelity (2000) 10
Labyrinth (1986) 10
Lost Highway (1997) 10
Matrix, The (1999) 10
Mulholland Dr. (2001) 10
Ocean’s Eleven (2001) 10
Requiem for a Dream (2000) 10
Se7en (1995) 10
Vita Ë bella, La (1997) 10
Back to the Future (1985) 9
Being John Malkovich (1999) 9
Bound (1996) 9
Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 9
Buffalo ’66 (1998) 9
Chasing Amy (1997) 9
Dogma (1999) 9
Doom Generation, The (1995) 9
Election (1999) 9
Eyes Wide Shut (1999) 9
Falling Down (1993) 9
Hole, The (2001) 9
Hopeless (2000) 9
Irrefutable Truth About Demons, The (2000) 9
Jean de Florette (1986) 9
Kalifornia (1993) 9
Killing Zoe (1994) 9
Kiss the Girls (1997) 9
Manon des sources (1986) 9
Memento (2000) 9
Misery (1990) 9
Moulin Rouge! (2001) 9
Natural Born Killers (1994) 9
Office Space (1999) 9
Once Were Warriors (1994) 9
Philadelphia (1993) 9
Pi (1998) 9
Pulp Fiction (1994) 9
Rosemary’s Baby (1968) 9
Rushmore (1998) 9
Schindler’s List (1993) 9
Shallow Grave (1994) 9
Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) 9
Shining, The (1980) 9
Shrek (2001) 9
Sixth Sense, The (1999) 9
Sleepy Hollow (1999) 9
Sliding Doors (1998) 9
Stickmen (2000) 9
Stuart Little (1999) 9
Terminator, The (1984) 9
Twelve Monkeys (1995) 9
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) 9
Unbreakable (2000) 9
Usual Suspects, The (1995) 9
Virgin Suicides, The (1999) 9
*batteries not included (1987) 8
8MM (1999) 8
Acid House, The (1998) 8
Almost Famous (2000) 8
Along Came a Spider (2001) 8
Amateur (1994) 8
American History X (1998) 8
American Movie: The Making of Northwestern (1999) 8
American Psycho (2000) 8
Assassins (1995) 8
Au revoir les enfants (1987) 8
Basketball Diaries, The (1995) 8
Beetlejuice (1988) 8
Benny & Joon (1993) 8
Best in Show (2000) 8
Blair Witch Project, The (1999) 8
Blow (2001) 8
Braindead (1992) 8
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) 8
Cell, The (2000) 8
Charlie’s Angels (2000) 8
Cocoon (1985) 8
Conspiracy Theory (1997) 8
Dark City (1998) 8
Dead Man (1995) 8
Disclosure (1994) 8
Eraserhead (1977) 8
Exorcist, The (1973) 8
Face/Off (1997) 8
Family Man, The (2000) 8
Firm, The (1993) 8
Forrest Gump (1994) 8
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) 8
From Hell (2001) 8
Gallipoli (1981) 8
Gattaca (1997) 8
Ghost (1990) 8
Ghostbusters (1984) 8
Gift, The (2000) 8
Girl, Interrupted (1999) 8
Go (1999) 8
Green Mile, The (1999) 8
Heavenly Creatures (1994) 8
Hush (1998) 8
Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) 8
Jaws (1975) 8
Joy Luck Club, The (1993) 8
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 8
Meet Joe Black (1998) 8
Meet the Parents (2000) 8
Mononoke Hime (1997) 8
Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (1994) 8
Nurse Betty (2000) 8
Others, The (2001) 8
Patriot, The (2000) 8
Perfect Murder, A (1998) 8
Permanent Midnight (1998) 8
Point Break (1991) 8
Powder (1995) 8
Rapa Nui (1994) 8
Romeo + Juliet (1996) 8
Romper Stomper (1992) 8
Saving Private Ryan (1998) 8
Scarfies (1999) 8
Secret Garden, The (1993) 8
Shadow of the Vampire (2000) 8
Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) 8
Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) 8
Snatch. (2000) 8
Stand by Me (1986) 8
State and Main (2000) 8
Stigmata (1999) 8
Summer of Sam (1999) 8
Talented Mr. Ripley, The (1999) 8
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 8
There’s Something About Mary (1998) 8
This Boy’s Life (1993) 8
Toy Story (1995) 8
Trainspotting (1996) 8
Truman Show, The (1998) 8
Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995) 8
What Lies Beneath (2000) 8
Wild Things (1998) 8
Wizard of Oz, The (1939) 8
Wo hu cang long (2000) 8
X-Men (2000) 8
10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 7
15 Minutes (2001) 7
200 Cigarettes (1999) 7
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 7
Abyss, The (1989) 7
Addams Family, The (1991) 7
Alien (1979) 7
Alive (1993) 7
American Pie (1999) 7
Arachnophobia (1990) 7
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) 7
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) 7
Awakenings (1990) 7
Babe (1995) 7
Back to the Future Part II (1989) 7
Bad Boy Bubby (1993) 7
Baraka (1992) 7
Batman (1989) 7
Batman Returns (1992) 7
Beach, The (2000) 7
Beat (2000) 7
Big (1988) 7
Big Daddy (1999) 7
Birdcage, The (1996) 7
Blade (1998) 7
Blade Runner (1982) 7
Boogie Nights (1997) 7
Brazil (1985) 7
Breakfast Club, The (1985) 7
Broken English (1996) 7
Can’t Hardly Wait (1998) 7
Candyman (1992) 7
Cape Fear (1991) 7
Carrie (1976) 7
Casino (1995) 7
Chain Reaction (1996) 7
Chicken Run (2000) 7
Child’s Play (1988) 7
Chopper (2000) 7
City of Angels (1998) 7
Client, The (1994) 7
Clockwork Orange, A (1971) 7
Clueless (1995) 7
Color Purple, The (1985) 7
Con Air (1997) 7
Contact (1997) 7
Cop Land (1997) 7
Copycat (1995) 7
Craft, The (1996) 7
Crow, The (1994) 7
Cruel Intentions (1999) 7
Cube (1997) 7
Dark Crystal, The (1982) 7
Dazed and Confused (1993) 7
Dead Poets Society (1989) 7
Dead Ringers (1988) 7
Deliverance (1972) 7
Desperado (1995) 7
Devil’s Advocate, The (1997) 7
Die Hard (1988) 7
Doors, The (1991) 7
Driving Miss Daisy (1989) 7
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1991) (TV) 7
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 7
Edtv (1999) 7
Enemy of the State (1998) 7
Erin Brockovich (2000) 7
Ever After (1998) 7
Everest (1998) 7
Fallen (1998) 7
Far and Away (1992) 7
Fargo (1996) 7
Fear (1996) 7
Fifth Element, The (1997) 7
Fish Called Wanda, A (1988) 7
Flatliners (1990) 7
Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tale (1986) 7
For the Boys (1991) 7
Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) 7
Fox and the Hound, The (1981) 7
Freeway (1996) 7
Frighteners, The (1996) 7
Fugitive, The (1993) 7
Full Monty, The (1997) 7
Ghostbusters II (1989) 7
GoldenEye (1995) 7
Goldfinger (1964) 7
Gorillas in the Mist (1988) 7
Green Card (1990) 7
Groundhog Day (1993) 7
Hand That Rocks the Cradle, The (1992) 7
Happy Gilmore (1996) 7
Heartbreakers (2001) 7
Hideaway (1995) 7
Higher Learning (1995) 7
Hook (1991) 7
If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) (TV) 7
Instinct (1999) 7
It Could Happen to You (1994) 7
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 7
Jesus’ Son (1999) 7
Jewel of the Nile, The (1985) 7
Jurassic Park (1993) 7
Karate Kid, The (1984) 7
L.A. Confidential (1997) 7
Lady and the Tramp (1955) 7
Last of the Mohicans, The (1992) 7
Legally Blonde (2001) 7
Legends of the Fall (1994) 7
Liar Liar (1997) 7
Life Less Ordinary, A (1997) 7
Lion King, The (1994) 7
Little Nicky (2000) 7
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) 7
Little Women (1994) 7
Lolita (1997) 7
Lost Boys, The (1987) 7
Mallrats (1995) 7
Man on the Moon (1999) 7
Man Without a Face, The (1993) 7
Mask, The (1994) 7
Mermaids (1990) 7
Mexican, The (2001) 7
Million Dollar Hotel, The (2000) 7
Mission: Impossible (1996) 7
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) 7
Mummy Returns, The (2001) 7
Mummy, The (1999) 7
Muriel’s Wedding (1994) 7
My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) 7
My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) 7
Mystery Men (1999) 7
Nadja (1994) 7
Negotiator, The (1998) 7
Nell (1994) 7
Never Been Kissed (1999) 7
Now and Then (1995) 7
Nowhere (1997) 7
Opposite of Sex, The (1998) 7
Outbreak (1995) 7
Pelican Brief, The (1993) 7
People vs. Larry Flynt, The (1996) 7
Pet Sematary (1989) 7
Piano, The (1993) 7
Platoon (1986) 7
Pleasantville (1998) 7
Pollock (2000) 7
Poltergeist (1982) 7
Predator (1987) 7
Pretty Woman (1990) 7
Princess Bride, The (1987) 7
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 7
Ransom (1996) 7
Replacement Killers, The (1998) 7
Reservoir Dogs (1992) 7
Ruby and Rata (1990) 7
Saturday Night Fever (1977) 7
Scream (1996) 7
Secret of My Succe$s, The (1987) 7
Shallow Hal (2001) 7
Shine (1996) 7
Sid and Nancy (1986) 7
Siege, The (1998) 7
Single White Female (1992) 7
Sixteen Candles (1984) 7
Sleepers (1996) 7
Sleepless in Seattle (1993) 7
Small Soldiers (1998) 7
So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) 7
Speed (1994) 7
Steel Magnolias (1989) 7
Stepmom (1998) 7
Strange Days (1995) 7
Swordfish (2001) 7
That Thing You Do! (1996) 7
Titanic (1997) 7
Topless Women Talk About Their Lives (1997) 7
Total Recall (1990) 7
Training Day (2001) 7
True Lies (1994) 7
Truth About Cats & Dogs, The (1996) 7
Ugly, The (1997) 7
Untamed Heart (1993) 7
Varsity Blues (1999) 7
Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers (1993) 7
Wayne’s World (1992) 7
Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 7
Wedding Singer, The (1998) 7
Whole of the Moon, The (1996) 7
Willow (1988) 7
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) 7
Witches, The (1990) 7
Wonder Boys (2000) 7
X Files, The (1998) 7
‘burbs, The (1989) 6
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 6
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 6
Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The (1988) 6
Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, The (1994) 6
Airheads (1994) 6
America’s Sweethearts (2001) 6
Annie (1982) 6
Armageddon (1998) 6
Arrival, The (1996) 6
Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001) 6
Bad Taste (1987) 6
BASEketball (1998) 6
Batman Forever (1995) 6
Bean (1997) 6
Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996) 6
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) 6
Bicentennial Man (1999) 6
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 6
Blues Brothers, The (1980) 6
Bone Collector, The (1999) 6
Boy From Andromeda, The (1991) (TV) 6
Boyz N the Hood (1991) 6
Brady Bunch Movie, The (1995) 6
Braveheart (1995) 6
Bring It On (2000) 6
Bringing Out the Dead (1999) 6
Bulletproof (1996) 6
Casper (1995) 6
Cats & Dogs (2001) 6
Children of the Corn (1984) 6
Christine (1983) 6
Clerks (1994) 6
Cliffhanger (1993) 6
Cocktail (1988) 6
Cocoon: The Return (1988) 6
Coming to America (1988) 6
Cradle Will Rock (1999) 6
Crash (1996) 6
Daylight (1996) 6
Dead Calm (1989) 6
Death Becomes Her (1992) 6
Deep Impact (1998) 6
Diabolique (1996) 6
Dick (1999) 6
Die Hard 2 (1990) 6
Dirty Dancing (1987) 6
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) 6
Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead (1991) 6
Dragonheart (1996) 6
Drowning by Numbers (1988) 6
Dune (1984) 6
Earth Girls Are Easy (1989) 6
Eddie Murphy Delirious (1983) (V) 6
Eraser (1996) 6
Fame (1980) 6
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) 6
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001) 6
Fisher King, The (1991) 6
Fly Away Home (1996) 6
Fools Rush In (1997) 6
Forever Young (1992) 6
Forever Young (1992) 6
Friday the 13th (1980) 6
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) 6
George of the Jungle (1997) 6
Gods Must Be Crazy, The (1980) 6
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) 6
Grand bleu, Le (1988) 6
Grease (1978) 6
Gremlins (1984) 6
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) 6
Grumpy Old Men (1993) 6
Gummo (1997) 6
Hairspray (1988) 6
Hannibal (2001) 6
Hellraiser (1987) 6
Hocus Pocus (1993) 6
Home Alone (1990) 6
Howling, The (1980) 6
Human Traffic (1999) 6
Indecent Proposal (1993) 6
Independence Day (1996) 6
Jack (1996) 6
Jumanji (1995) 6
Jurassic Park III (2001) 6
Keeping the Faith (2000) 6
Kindergarten Cop (1990) 6
Kuffs (1992) 6
Land Before Time, The (1988) 6
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) 6
Last Starfighter, The (1984) 6
Leaving Las Vegas (1995) 6
Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 6
Little Mermaid, The (1989) 6
Looking for Alibrandi (2000) 6
Lord of the Flies (1990) 6
Lucky Numbers (2000) 6
Malice (1993) 6
Man with Two Brains, The (1983) 6
Mannequin (1987) 6
Me, Myself & Irene (2000) 6
Meet the Feebles (1989) 6
Men in Black (1997) 6
Monkeybone (2001) 6
Moonstruck (1987) 6
Mr. Mom (1983) 6
My Girl (1991) 6
Mystic Pizza (1988) 6
Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The (1988) 6
Naked Lunch (1991) 6
Net, The (1995) 6
Never Say Die (1988) 6
Night of the Living Dead (1990) 6
Nightmare Before Christmas, The (1993) 6
Nine Months (1995) 6
Nutty Professor, The (1996) 6
Othello (1981/I) (TV) 6
Over the Top (1987) 6
Parenthood (1989) 6
People Under the Stairs, The (1991) 6
Phantom, The (1996) 6
Phenomenon (1996) 6
Picture Perfect (1997) 6
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) 6
Planet of the Apes (2001) 6
Poetic Justice (1993) 6
Poison Ivy (1992) 6
Practical Magic (1998) 6
Psycho (1998) 6
Re-Animator (1985) 6
Return of the Living Dead, The (1985) 6
Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) 6
Risky Business (1983) 6
Road Trip (2000) 6
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) 6
RoboCop (1987) 6
Romancing the Stone (1984) 6
Roxanne (1987) 6
Rush Hour (1998) 6
Saint, The (1997) 6
Scary Movie (2000) 6
Scream 2 (1997) 6
Scream 3 (2000) 6
Scrooged (1988) 6
Sirens (1994) 6
Sister Act (1992) 6
Smash Palace (1981) 6
Snake Eyes (1998) 6
Spaceballs (1987) 6
Sphere (1998) 6
Splash (1984) 6
Strictly Ballroom (1992) 6
Swingers (1996) 6
Tank Girl (1995) 6
Three Amigos! (1986) 6
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995) 6
Tommy Boy (1995) 6
Top Gun (1986) 6
Toy Soldiers (1984) 6
Traffic (2000) 6
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) 6
Twins (1988) 6
Twister (1996) 6
Uncle Buck (1989) 6
Unendliche Geschichte, Die (1984) 6
Universal Soldier (1992) 6
Very Bad Things (1998) 6
Virtuosity (1995) 6
Volcano (1997) 6
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? (1999) 6
What Women Want (2000) 6
While You Were Sleeping (1995) 6
White Fang (1991/I) 6
Witches of Eastwick, The (1987) 6
Wiz, The (1978/I) 6
Wolf (1994) 6
You’ve Got Mail (1998) 6
Zoolander (2001) 6
‘Crocodile’ Dundee II (1988) 5
American Gothic (1988) 5
American Tail, An (1986) 5
American Werewolf in Paris, An (1997) 5
Batman & Robin (1997) 5
Beethoven (1992) 5
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) 5
Blind Fury (1989) 5
Blob, The (1988) 5
Boomerang (1992) 5
Bride of Chucky (1998) 5
Caddyshack (1980) 5
Child’s Play 2 (1990) 5
Child’s Play 3 (1991) 5
Cool Runnings (1993) 5
Coyote Ugly (2000) 5
Crocodile Dundee (1986) 5
Dangerous Minds (1995) 5
Day of the Dead (1985) 5
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) 5
Drop Dead Fred (1991) 5
Dumb & Dumber (1994) 5
End of Days (1999) 5
Free Willy (1993) 5
Girl 6 (1996) 5
Godzilla (1998) 5
Goodbye Pork Pie (1981) 5
Half Baked (1998) 5
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) 5
Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5
Haunting, The (1999) 5
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) 5
House on Haunted Hill (1999) 5
Hudson Hawk (1991) 5
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) 5
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) 5
Jingle All the Way (1996) 5
Junior (1994) 5
K-9 (1989) 5
Langoliers, The (1995) (TV) 5
Last Action Hero (1993) 5
Lawnmower Man, The (1992) 5
Life of Brian (1979) 5
Look Who’s Talking (1989) 5
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) 5
Mars Attacks! (1996) 5
Mimic (1997) 5
Money Train (1995) 5
Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983) 5
Mortal Kombat (1995) 5
Multiplicity (1996) 5
Necronomicon (1994) 5
Nightmare on Elm Street, A (1984) 5
Piranha (1978) 5
Playing God (1997) 5
Poison Ivy II (1995) 5
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) 5
Red Planet (2000) 5
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) 5
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997) 5
See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) 5
Short Circuit (1986) 5
Short Circuit 2 (1988) 5
Six Days Seven Nights (1998) 5
Sliver (1993) 5
Spawn (1997) 5
Species (1995) 5
Tango & Cash (1989) 5
Toys (1992) 5
Tremors (1990) 5
Under Siege (1992) 5
Urban Legend (1998) 5
Weekend at Bernie’s (1989) 5
Young Einstein (1988) 5
3 Men and a Little Lady (1990) 4
Amityville: A New Generation (1993) (V) 4
Amityville: Dollhouse (1996) (V) 4
Blankman (1994) 4
BMX Bandits (1983) 4
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) 4
Coneheads (1993) 4
Cool World (1992) 4
Curly Sue (1991) 4
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) 4
Look Who’s Talking Now (1993) 4
Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) 4
Masters of the Universe (1987) 4
Pest, The (1997) 4
Plump Fiction (1997) 4
Police Academy (1984) 4
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) 4
Showgirls (1995) 4
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) 4
Striptease (1996) 4
Virus (1999) 4
Barb Wire (1996) 3
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) 3
Critters 3 (1991) 3
Final Destination (2000) 3
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991) 3
Mission to Mars (2000) 3
Curse of the Screaming Dead, The (1982) 1
14
Oct 00
My Disturbing Film Fetish
I have a fetish. Horror films, thrillers, gory, action, art festival films. I can’t get enough of them.
When I was very young, I remember going into the local video store and looking at the cover of Demons. It used to scare me so much, but I always went back and looked at it. I usually ended up getting out Jem and the Holograms or My Little Pony, but oh boy, did the cover of Demons intrigue, scare and fascinate me. My mother wouldn’t let me get it out. I’m sure she thought it would warp my mind.
When I was 11, I met a girl who also enjoyed disturbing films. Phillipa and I ended up becoming great friends, and I would go around to her place to watch scary movies since my mother would not let me at home. There were Freddy weekends, Jason weekends, Living Dead weekends and we loved them all. I have another friend, Penny, and we went through a David Lynch phase (which hasn’t quite ended), and we watched the entire series of Twin Peaks in a few weeks. When you work fulltime that’s quite an effort.
I can’t help but wonder where this obsession all began. Did I find the blood and goo on the cover of Demons 1 attractive, or maybe it was Demons 2? Was it my Christian upbringing, and the gore in the bible? Is it even something that is imprinted in my genetic code, like a violent offender or a hemophiliac? It’s even possible that it’s all just phase, and I’ll grow out of it by the time I’m 30. Or maybe I’ll be watching, and re-watching, The Doom Generation until the day I die, or until I go mad and go on a killing spree.
The media often blames violent crimes on films, and make comments about the offender watching movies such as Child’s Play, Friday the 13th or Silence of the Lambs. But who are we really to blame? The movie-goers, or the movie-makers? Do we blame someone for dreaming up an idea which has a dire effect on society as we know it? Do we hound Albert Hofmann for creating LSD in 1938? No, because “at that time I had no inkling that the new substance would also come to be used beyond medical science, as an inebriate in the drug scene.” I say if a 10-year-old boy kidnaps a 3-year-old girl and ties her to train tracks, there’s obviously something wrong with his mind, and you can’t blame that on visual and aural stimuli.
Everyone reacts to stimulus in different ways. Whereas someone might see something disturbing and cry, someone else might not have the intelligence to realize that it’s wrong, and copy what they see. I, on the other hand, take it with a pinch of salt and realize that gore is part of our society. So I have this little fetish, which may or may not be healthy, but I’m intelligent enough to realize that what I see isn’t necessarily what I should do. We can’t lead sheltered lives and try to protect ourselves from the violence and disturbing images we may see in movies. I would prefer to watch a movie, knowing that it’s make-believe, than watch the news and know that the body under that sheet used to be alive.
I grew out of B-grade horror movies in my mid-teen years. Although, they are often very humorous, especially as you are giggling, “Don’t go up the stairs you silly bitch!” they just weren’t real enough. I once watched a film called Curse of the Cannibal Confederates. This is quite possibly the crappiest movie I have ever seen, but there are reasons why I watched it in it’s entirety.
1. It looked like it had been made with a 1970′s home video camera
There was this one scene where the exposure was so wrong that one of the main characters body blended into the white caravan behind her. All you could see was her hair, a triangle over her left breast, a triangle over her right breast, and a triangle over her frontbum.
2. The “special effects” weren’t particularly special
There was supposed to be intestine eating in this movie, although it was plain to see that normal, precooked sausages had been used. They weren’t even covered in blood. (Who’d want to eat intestines anyway? You might as well wait until they crap and then wrap it up in skin.)
3. The acting was really, really bad
If they weren’t reading the script from cards offset, I’ll be really surprised. It’s quite possible that they also had notes on their hands, and on their “intestines”.
Maybe I’d actually label that movie “Comedy” and put a big smiley face on the cover, because it certainly made me smile.
I’m not sure what compels me to continue watching these movies. I watched Deliverance this weekend, and although it totally scared the pants off me, I know I’m going to watch more disturbing films. I know I’m going to watch Hollow Man, no matter how crap anyone says it is. I know I’m going to watch the Exorcist again and continue to like peas. There is only one thing that is going to stop me from from watching disturbing movies, and that’s if I have to stop seeing a person because they remind me of the lead character from American Psycho. Oh hang on, that’s already happened.
Maybe I should have listened to my mother. I’m probably already warped.