Tony Veitch: Media Diddle
As I’m sure everyone in New Zealand has heard, now former television sports presenter Tony Veitch assaulted his former partner Kristin Dunne-Powell in 2006, breaking her back leaving her in a wheelchair for a period of time, then paid her a large sum of hush money to keep the incident quiet.
There are two good things that came out of this incident: firstly, Veitch is no longer a smug cunt on television, secondly, at last a media personality is seemingly not going to get away with breaking the law just because he is a media personality (think Mark Ellis and Brent Todd’s drug scandal, various rugby players and violent assaults). The only problem is that with all the media coverage I am now completely sick of hearing about it, with such news-worthy articles as “Veitch’s wife strikes back” and “Ex-love stands by Tony Veitch”. Jesus Chris, stop the press already! Who really cares what one of his ex-girlfriend’s has to say, when Veitch has already admitted he assaulted Dunne-Powell?
I just hope this little debacle will give New Zealand celebrities a little bit more of a reason to stop being such diddles and start acting like the role models they are supposed to be.
A Recent Life Synopsis
A quick synopsis of my life since March:
- I herniated a disc.
- I found out I had some bone disease when I was a teenager.
- I also found out I have some nodie things on my vertebrae.
- I got my first cold sore which turned me into a hideous monster.
- I got a trachea infection.
- I got ill from the trachea infection antibiotics.
- I got the flu.
- I moved flats while I had the flu.
- I coughed for so long I cracked a rib.*
In short, in the past few months my body stopped caring about me and I have been rather sick. It all started with a little stress from moving to Auckland, and then a wee little disc herniation to cause stabbing voodoo knives and the inability to walk. I am since able to walk, and can for the most part function again with some limitations.
But to look on the good side of life: I am enjoying Auckland; I am loving my new flat; my social life is excellent, and my BFF from forever will be in Auckland in less than two weeks. Goblin is also as cute as ever, even if she continues to shit on the floor because she poos with her ass hanging off the side of her dirt box. There is nothing more I love than to clean up warm, sloppy cat shit.
So anyway, hi. I am alive. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
* This is unconfirmed, but I am convinced this is what I have. With everything else, what’s one more thing? Next up, EBOLA!
New Apple Keyboards
Yesterday I bought one of the new Apple keyboards. It is quite possibly the sexiest piece of technology I have ever owned. It is simply beautiful, and I want to marry it, in a way that only someone with objectophilia could understand.
Just look at this photo and tell me that isn’t stunning.
The first thing I did when I opened the box was type. I typed a 2,000-word email to my best friend. Type-type-type. That is all I want to do now. I feel that with even lower profile keys than the Macally IceKey keyboard I was replacing (leaky shampoo bottle water does not make keyboards do nice things) I can type as fast as the wind. Perhaps even faster than the speed of sound! My fingers are going to break the sound barrier! If you were sitting next to me right now, you would have seen that I typed these paragraphs in mere fractions of a second and was followed closely by a sonic boom.
If Apple were smart, they would market this keyboard as one that will make you, “REPLY TO ALL EMAILS THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY COULDN’T BE FUCKED REPLYING TO!” and, “FINISH ESSAYS IN RECORD SPEED!” and, “ENJOY SENDING BORING EMAILS TO WORKMATES!” Making tedious tasks enjoyable is a brilliant marketing ploy!
Now excuse me while I organise a civil union.
Best Animated GIF Ever 2
3 May 2008
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Comments [1]
Made Me LOL
Auckland: Initial Observations
I have officially been a JAFA for precisely 16 days now. It’s starting to feel a bit more like I actually live here, instead of how it has been feeling which is that I am housesitting for someone with all my stuff and my cat, and that I am temping in someone else’s job. It’s quite an odd feeling really, and I feel like I am going to go “home” to Wellington any day now.
Things to note:
- Auckland is very muggy. I live no more than a 15-minute walk to my new job and start at 8:30am each day. For the first two weeks I would walk not entirely too strenuously because at 8:15am it already muggy and hot. I arrive at 8:27am, grab my water bottle and take some swigs of yesterday’s water, take it to the cooler to refill it, and then go to the bathroom to run my wrists under cold water and daub my forehead and upper lip with a paper towel. In 2002 I coined the phrase, “There’s a rivva in my boobies,” and sadly the rivva has returned.
- The coffee is terrible. I have not had a single good cup of coffee in Auckland. Everyone’s beans taste burned and bitter, and lattes arrive thin and watery, to the point I would consider going to Starbucks out of preference. That is deadly sin in Wellington, the land of delicious coffee.
- Everything is very far apart. No longer can I waltz down to the post office at lunch, or quickly grab some new stockings when the ones I’m wearing run, or wander around Farmers looking at cheap make-up and new hair straighteners. I don’t work in the city centre, rather in one of the closest suburbs which although very nice is overrun with stupidly expensive clothing boutiques and many cafés selling crappy coffee. And because Auckland is so large and sprawling, everywhere seems to be a destination shop. A 20-minute drive to Briscoes, a 25-minute drive in another direction to go to Freedom Furniture, and a short drive into town for a lot of other stores that you would want to shop at if it were not a requirement to try for a ridiculous amount of time to get a car park. Perhaps I will be needing a car after all, and my poor little Vespa will need to be sold. That is as yet undetermined.
- The shopping and eating choices are never-ending and fantastic. Being in a city that is 3.5-times the size of Wellington of course the shopping is going to be better. There are so many great little boutiques (that I can’t afford but can wish) and lots of stores Wellington just doesn’t have. There are loads of new restaurants to choose from, and a lot more delicious Asian foods to try which is a wonderful by-product of having a larger Asian population in the warmer north.
- The houses are way prettier. At least in the area I live in. In Wellington, the areas with the beautiful historic Victorian villas have had many demolished to make way for hideous townhouses and apartment blocks. Instead in Ponsonby and Grey Lynn, most of these are being restored to their former beauty. I love going for walks in my neighbourhood just so I can look at the houses and dream that one day I am going to win the lottery that I never enter so I can afford to own a home in a suburb such as thing. However, chances are that it will never happen.
So, I’m getting along alright up here. I miss my family and I miss Wellington (good days only), but I’m sure it won’t be too long before I start replying with “Grey Lynn” instead of “Wellington” when people ask me where I’m from.
I've Arrived
Two days of unpacking, more left to go. My room is all set up, my cat is out of the cattery, and my new job starts tomorrow. I am exhausted.
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